a post, a post, my kingdom for a post!

Oh yes once again it’s been too long.  Let’s see, since Pride, what have I been up to?

– Learning to jump rope.  Yup, you heard me.  I wasn’t a very good girl back in the day.  I think there was a jump rope somewhere in my house but along with roller skates, cartwheels, and hula hoops, I just didn’t excel at the little girly physical activities that everyone else got to do.  I could write a whole sad post about how my family was into shaming us about our bodies, and how I learned to keep as still as possible so I could forget I had a body at all, but there’s been enough rain recently.  But I’m quite proud of myself — I picked up the basics of jumping rope in a few minutes, which gives me hope.  Who wants to teach me to hoop??

– Today in Copley Square, as I was walking to the farmer’s market in search of native strawberries (OMG the best I’ve ever had by the way) I saw a gorgeous butch/femme couple having their wedding photos taken (by a cute dykey photographer no less) and I yelled out “congratulations!”.  They were both just beaming, looking beautiful and so happy.  I was so thrilled I got goosebumps.  This is what it’s all about, you know?  How can I be anti-marriage when it’s out there making people that happy?  But I digress, this isn’t supposed to be an angsty post.

– I’ve been reading and re-reading an essay by Karen Bullock-Jordan, in the anthology This is what lesbian looks like from 1999, which I first read a few months ago (witness the $5 library fine I had to pay today in order to renew it…).  In a footnote, she explains her use of the phrase ’sexual preference’ instead of ’sexual orientation’, saying that sexual orientation’s “coinage and usage was part of the strategy that moved us into a civil rights framework, the idea being that if we fuck others of the same sex because we are oriented that way, then we are more deserving of civil rights.  Choice has been completely discounted.  In my opinion, the orientation argument seems to be little more than Don’t be mean to us poor homosexuals.  We can’t help it.  It is important to also argue for the right of an individual to choose homosexuality if that makes sense to them.” (p. 38)

Her argument opened my eyes to the many times I’ve used the orientation argument myself, but I’ve stopped since reading that.  She is calling for sexual liberation, rightly eliding homophobia with erotophobia.  She points out at the end of the essay, “There are no laws against emotional love between those of the same sex, only against fucking them.” (p. 45)  Her words have helped me clarify my own position on these issues — sex is something that is always used against the LGBTQ movement.  Talking about our relationships has been called obscene by conservatives (especially religious ones) because ‘it’s automatically about sex’.  Which is ridiculous, really.  The word liberation has a lot of meaning for me — I feel like I am slowly liberating myself from the stifling cloak of self-doubt and embarrassment about my body and my desires, and the more liberated I get the more I wish that everyone could be that way too.

– I’m working up a post about the firestorm of controversy around the Top Hot Butches list, and will have it up this weekend.  There’s a lot to be said on both sides of the argument, and as usual I feel torn between conflicting viewpoints.  However, I was appalled by how much butch-hating was going on, and it only strengthened my feeling that this work has hardly begun.  If you want a taste of my opinion, look here.

– Oh yeah and one more thing, I’m SO SAD that we can’t go down to NY for pride!  Last year we got thoroughly soaked at the dyke march but loved it anyway.  Too bad we’re moving and M. has to work.  We’ll be there in spirit.