paralysis

I woke up this morning at 4:30 with a splitting headache and feeling completely nauseated.  I felt a bit off last night, but thought it was nothing but exhaustion and irresponsible eating patterns.  It got worse and worse until I was on my knees in the bathroom, sick and crying.

I’ve been a bit stressed the past few weeks.  It’s some of this and some of that, all piled on top of a very difficult visit to the inlaws.  I’ve been unable to write anything, personal journal, blogging, what have you — even my professional writing hasn’t come easily (and it mostly consists of friendly informative emails, so that’s saying something!).  I guess I thought the summer would be a time to recharge and rest, and it hasn’t turned out that way.

Melting down physically is not a new response to stress in my life.  When I was a child, I would routinely get stomach aches so bad my mom would take me to the emergency room in case it was appendicitis.  Eventually my doctor gave her a couple of indicators she could check at home as a preliminary screening, to prevent unnecessary trips to the hospital.  I also got intense migraines, so bad that eventually my mom took me to get my eyes checked to see if there was a problem with them.

So this kind of physical response isn’t in itself a big surprise, but being so stressed that I have this kind of response is surprising right now.  I don’t really have anything to say about it.  I was going to post some cheery pictures of the roses in my neighborhood, but I’ve misplaced my camera cord.  Soon I hope to be able to start writing again and doing the fun stuff I have planned for the next couple of months.